+LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP+

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+24+

It has been raining for a few hours and I'm getting hungry (again). Sure will get chubbier this semester (don't care anymore). While rummaging through my pics folders in my lovely laptop, I noticed that how I've change through these 24 years of my life. Yes, already 24 years and soon to be 25. Proud of it, heheh. Still, my future seems a bit hazy, but just let God decide (which is already been written long before I was born). I do change during these years, internally. Used to be a very shy person until people around me consider me as "sombong". And used to be a bit rebel during my teenager period (but not to the extent where I give troubles). But now I'm a different person. Not totally different, still maintain some qualities from back then but gaining more confidence in my life. Thanks to some amazing friends I met in my journey. I owe you guys. As you can see, there's no pic from my school time. I don't have so much pic from my primary school time. As for my high school, just forget it. It sucks and I don't want to remember it (sorry). Got to go now, got something to do.

P/S : I didn't change my image so I can be 'hot' or popular. It just something I've been wanting for years =)

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+POSITIVE AGAIN+

*Tarik nafas dalam2*. It's Saturday morning and somehow I'm feeling so alive =) Somehow I just realize that I'm getting more negative these past few weeks, which is bad. Some people even ask me "Syam, why are u so garang now?". Funny though, I'm not the type who scold people, who get angry on every single thing. No wonder my immune system becomes weaker and I havent been able to cure from my flu (two weeks already). Just now muhasabah diri and I realized that what is wrong is that I neglect my God too long, and He is punishing me for that reason. I'm really sorry because I put human as priority than You. I'll try to change and please guide me to be a better person. Thanks to You now that I realize I'm just a weak human and I can only be strong if I love You. Now my mind is clearer and I can smile again.

"Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani. Segala puji tertentu bagi Allah, Tuhan yang Memelihara dan Mentadbirkan sekalian alam. Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani. Yang Menguasai pemerintahan hari Pembalasan (hari akhirat). Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah dan kepada Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan. Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus. Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat." ( Al - Faatihah)

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+KEBOSANAN+

Hm... Just got back from acara makan2 with my friends. Burger King, nasi lemak, hot hazelnut chocolate from Starbucks... Sure will be chubbier this sem. But what to do besides eating? Very bosan these days. FYP belum start (semangat dah x berkobar2 dah). And penang climate do make me sick. Almost 2 weeks and my flu doesnt 100% recover. I slept like crazy, even skipped a few classes already. I think I need to go home and spend time there to kill this boredom. Gosh I hope I will not do something stupid (which already done, a bit). But it was not my fault. And they are not serious matter anyway. Who cares right, I was totally bored and need some motivation. Will slack off more in the future (but still under control). I know my limit but I hope this boredom will go away. Still I hope things will get the way like before. I do understand that people change as time goes by but please, dont change too much. I'm afraid me myself will change too and at the end everybody will regret and make wrong decisions. I'm a hardheaded person and it's hard for me to cry or shows that I'm sad. I might say everything is ok and just smile but it doesnt mean I didnt hurt. I'm also just a human and like I said there's a limit I can be patient. It just that I'm the type who doesnt know how to show it because yeah, I do not know how to show the expression... Merepek2 sudah (effect of sugar rush). Should sleep now...

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+HEARTSICK+

I miss the time when we both are not busy (before these 9 months). It much more sweet and passionate than now. Hmm...

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