+THE TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES OF BEING CHARM+

There are times when I wish I am the old me. Yeah, the failure Hisyam, all alone but that time I was happy in my own world. I don't have to think about stupid problems which can lead my life to a disastrous moments. Kind of miss it, huhu... That tyme, I can do anything I want, with no people will criticize me because they think I'm a weirdo and that's how a weirdo should be. I went to class alone, having my dinner alone, sleep during prep class, and struggle with the exercises, quizzes, homeworks, tests and exams all alone. Sometimes there were some good people who accompany me for a short while, thanx to them. May God bless all of you forever :).

Then I was awaken one day and got my strength back. Now my studies getting better (yet far from excellent). Long way to go lorh... New Hisyam, prefer to be known as Charm (still got a good meaning). I tried hard to improve every weakness that I have. I tried to be friendly with everybody. I found it is not hard to make friends. But still got large part of shyness in me. Hey, that's the way I am. And I'm not going to change it because by being myself, I can bring out the special qualities in me. U know what, I hate it when some people condemn me in front of others. They know my weakness and they just say it without consider my feelings. Example "Charm is incapable doing this and that...".

Sometimes people also questions a lot about what I did, why am I befriend with that guy/that girl?? This is another dilemma I have to face almost everyday. When I am spending my time alone, they said that I am sombong, kerek n seumpama dengannya. I used to be called playboy when I spend my time with girls, and gay when I'm just with boys. Adoyai... I tried to be ignorant but now I'm getting tired and sick. The pressure from the present troublemakers who keeps giving me problems really driving me crazy. One day I'm sure that I'll blow up. Damn so stress, wanna go home, shut myself down la... Banish all negativity, invoke positivity. Worn out at maximum level, my eyes are shut themselves.... Zzzz...